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The Stoic Philosophy of T.K. Sunglasses |
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| It's the new adventures of T.K. Sunglasses, with his magical sunglasses that you cannot break through. This is his David Copperfield Crap. TKSUNGLASSES.NET |
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| Jun. 23rd, 2008 @ 12:05 am | |||
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| New story is up. | |||
| May. 20th, 2008 @ 10:23 pm | |||
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| Furious Rose part 1 is up! This is also the first update of the web site. Please note that it's not all totally together yet and at some point there will be an actual archive and books for sale. There will also be Google advertisements for purely artistic reasons. | |||
| Jul. 16th, 2007 @ 01:33 pm | |||
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| Just when I was starting to get bored with Penny Arcade again, they go and do something brilliant. | |||
| Jun. 27th, 2007 @ 02:02 am | |||
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| I think this is exactly where I was three years ago, only now I'm listening to Lemuria instead of Osker and the Weakerthans. Funny how that happens. You're supposed to get wiser, and I've felt like I've been doing that, only now I suddenly feel like it was all bullshit and I'm the same person. But then, aren't I the one who's always saying life is built with rising and falling paradoxical waves? I guess so. So it'll be Lemuria for a while. Terrible time for the new Methadones album to be coming out. | |||
| Jun. 16th, 2007 @ 01:05 am Legend of sala bomb | |||
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| Long ago there was a sala he has no wing he cry he carried a bomb to comited suicide. Legend of sala bomb <_< | |||
| Mar. 21st, 2007 @ 07:30 am | |||
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| the most important youtube video ever. It's the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doing hardcore. | |||
| Dec. 31st, 2006 @ 09:15 pm HAPPY NEW YRZ GUYZ | |||
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| Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's that time again. It's time for: TK'S NEW YEAR LIVEJOURNAL BONANZA BLAST ( IT'S PARTY TIME ) | |||
| Dec. 26th, 2006 @ 02:29 pm Some faggy thing I wrote in a class last year that I still really like | |||
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| 1. The thing that made it beautiful When she broke down Was her hairclip. 2. The thing that held her in check Held her back from devouring me Was her hairclip. 3. Pointedly, she pulled her hair back And, donning a single, tiny hairclip She told him she was leaving. 4. Wrathful, he tried to smack her head With the back of his hand But all that he made contact with was her hairclip. And it hurt. A lot. | |||
| Dec. 7th, 2006 @ 03:40 pm The movie pretending to be a sequel to Clerks | |||
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| People kept telling me "oh, you'll love Clerks 2! It's just like the first one!" I was highly dubious. I was right. It clearly isn't, and it's only marginally better than Dogma... not exactly a difficult thing to accomplish. Elias was good, and the rest of it was very very mediocre. The references to the first movie didn't warm my heart, because what I was seeing was a vague approximation of that movie, and it just made me sad that Kevin Smith will never make another movie that is really like Clerks ever again. Here's the thing. Clerks was elegant because it was so simple. Part of it, yes, was the shooting style. Black and white, and hardly even any camera motion. That was an element of its charm. But even if Clerks 2 had to be shot like a Hollywood movie, it still could have felt like Clerks. Instead it felt like... a Hollywood movie with the Clerks characters. The so-called "outrageous" humor in Clerks wasn't just "outrageous." It was outrageously clever. There were no moments in Clerks 2 like when Dante leans out the door and shouts, "Hey, try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!" and the creepy guy loitering there gets up and starts walking. There was nothing like the Chewely's gum representative stirring up anti-smoking sentiment to sell gum. Nothing like the hockey game on the roof. There were no endearing, random, one-shot characters like the man who needed to use the bathroom, or the Russian guy who wanted to be a metal singer. They didn't even do anything with the "dumb random customers" element, because they were too busy having Randal monologue about sex acts for no apparent reason, or putting in cheesy, predictable Hollywood romance scenes with the hot Hollywood actress. Sorry, I just can't see how this is any different from any of the other completely average movies Kevin Smith has been making ever since... well, since after the original Clerks. I guess he always wanted to make uninspired Hollywood movies, and Clerks was an accident. A glorious accident, but an accident nonetheless. It's really sad. The best movie he has made since Clerks was the "An Evening With Kevin Smith" DVD. | |||
| Apr. 30th, 2006 @ 11:57 pm Wii. | |||
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| So "Revolution" is called Wii now. Yes indeedy, Wii. This would not be a complete interweb "blog" if I did not discuss the latest hot issue, so now's the time, I guess. When they first announced that its codename was "Revolution," I thought, "Wow that's a stupid name. Good thing it's a codename." Now I almost miss it—but not quite, and the reason why not is the subject of this little blab. I actually said something to the effect of "I don't care what they call it as long as it isn't 'Revolution.'" Yes, I'm eating my words now. There is no denying that Wii is a really stupid name. But as was pointed out in a very well-written blog entry, the only reason we think that is because we are the internet. It is sad, but true. We, the internet, are a bunch of lamers who have the collective maturity of an eleven-year-old. Does Wii really make you think of pee? Because it made me think of it. Why? I don't know why, I guess because I still find potty humor funny. The internet is the place that gave birth to abominations like goatse.cx, ebaumsworld, myspace, horrible free homepages, animated gifs, |337, fanfiction communities, EZBoard, stupid flash animations, and that video of the guy and the horse that everybody was talking about recently, among other things. We suck, and if our collective judgment is that Wii is a stupid name, it probably reflects well on the decision. Here are the reasons why Wii is the best shitty name Nintendo could possibly have come up with: 1) Everybody knows what it is now. Every single web site ever is talking about Wii. I haven't seen the internet explode like this since 9/11. I'm dead serious. Even their bizarre-looking controller didn't create this much of a reaction. Honestly I don't think it was even close. 2) Everybody will remember it forever. Nobody is ever going to forget what Wii is. PlayStation 3, to a confused parent, is the same thing as "PlayBox 360 Station." Wii is just Wii. Because of this, it will be insanely easy to market. You can bet they will have catchy commercials and they will probably be everywhere. Wii Wii Wii Wii Wii Wii Wii Wii Wii. This has been pointed out excessively already, but I have to repeat it: It's not the "Nintendo Wii." It's the Wii. That's a pretty big difference and it's rather ingenius. 3) It's insanely easy to translate. In every country, in every language, Wii will be Wii. You will say it the same way no matter where you are. Okay, in England it will be a homonym for term that means urine. In France it will mean "yes." This actually does not matter. You know the urban legend about Nova not selling well in Spain because "no va" means "it doesn't go?" Well, it does mean that, but it's not true that the car didn't sell well. The simple fact of the matter is this: When I first heard "Wii," I thought pee. Now, when I pee, I'm going to think of Wii. Bravo, Nintendo. I hate you for it, but as usual you are right. We are all going to grin and bear it as we stand in line waiting for a chance to get our hands on our Wiis. | |||
| Feb. 13th, 2006 @ 11:43 pm If I could become half the author this man was... | ||||
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I wanted to share this with you all because I thought it was one of the most beautifully written little chunks of a story I'd ever read:
Don't we always have to say it's beautifully written? Why can't we ever just admit we liked it because it was about four guys that starved to death in an igloo or something? | ||||
| Feb. 9th, 2006 @ 04:07 pm Kiwis By Beat! | |||
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| My good pal rezo, who makes fun of me in his livejournal, has a new comics web site. He's the author of Ribald Youth, which I have linked to here multiple times so I know you all read it when it was updating. The new site has a bunch of new comics, all of which are awesome. But, as if you weren't already obligated to go check out the site and read the comics just because I mentioned them, you will be doubly so when I mention that one of the stories that is going to be going up in the 2006 Comics Revue was WRITTEN BY ME. (It's the one called Middle of Nowhere that will be going up on the 14th of March.) So you'd better be checking back so you can see just how great rezo's comics become when they have a masterful author like myself behind the story! Or, if you're really smart, you could buy the book, and then you'll get to see the comic I wrote as soon as it arrives at your house (as well as all the other ones I did not write!) | |||
| Jan. 18th, 2006 @ 09:06 pm Oh, Fred. Nothing can prepare me for it when your hands find this kind of magic. | |||
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| Jan. 14th, 2006 @ 10:43 pm This entry is about dogs | |||
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| After getting off work, I decided I felt like watching a movie. This is a rare occurrence nowadays. If I watch movies it's usually either because I feel like I'm supposed to, or I just can't think of anything better to do with myself. So I went and rented one, because I think I'm entitled to waste a little money on a dumb movie every now and then. I was in dumb movie mode, not deep follow the plot think about it movie mode, and since love was on the brain I decided to do a dumb romantic comedy. Lucky for me, the perfect thing happened to be sitting there waiting: A new John Cusack movie! Dumb romantic comedies starring John Cusack are the second best thing in the world, right behind smart romantic comedies with John Cusack. The movie is called "Must Love Dogs." That is a very very bad title, especially since it seems to revolve around a totally meaningless "dog" theme in which the main female protagonist likes dogs a lot and there are dogs in lots of scenes in the movie. The story started out decent and then, about four fifths of the way through, degenerated into such a state of typicality that even I thought it was bad. However, the whole reason I got the movie was for Mr. Cusack, and he, as always, delivered on the promise of his name on the cover. He made a boringly written character funny, witty, real, and lovable. Sometimes I think watching him work with a bad script is the best way to watch him; it's a strangely beautiful art, his, in which he can make gold out of poop. To classify him as an "actor" would be an injustice—he is in his own league, his own profession; what he does is he professionally cusacks movies, which is another way of saying that he makes them fifty times better than they would have been without him. And get this: In this movie, John Cusack wears a Ramones T-shirt in almost every scene. There were actually multiple Ramones T-shirts in his wardrobe for this movie. How awesome is that? I bet you anything that wouldn't have been the case if it wasn't John Cusack! There was one element of the way this movie was written that I did like, though, and it was more just one of those mysterious click things with me personally than any real finesse on the part of the author. Just one line: "You care about someone, they're in a lot of pain, you cut them some slack." How true that is. How awfully true. | |||
| Jan. 5th, 2006 @ 12:53 am TK's Six Easy Steps to Getting Your Heart Broken in One Night | |||
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| 1. Go to see one of your all-time favorite bands, like, say, the Queers. 2. Get a spot at the front early on. After the opener plays, turn to the cute girl who randomly sat next to you by the stage and ask what she thought about them. Discuss their extreme mediocrity. 3. Continue the conversation. Discover that the cute girl is an extremely friendly and outgoing person. Discuss further and gradually learn that she is, in every conceivable aspect, the girl of your dreams. Right down to even having one of your favorite names. 4. Take note of the fact that of the guys the cute girl of your dreams came with, it is very obvious that not a single one is a boyfriend. 5. Discover that the cute girl of your dreams has been planning to see the Queers twice on this tour, the second time being their show in NYC with the Unlovables, which happens to be the same one you've been planning to go to. 6. When the show is over and the Queers have delivered a mind-blowingly awesome set, turn to the cute girl of your dreams and anxiously, awkwardly, and hopefully somewhat endearingly ask whether she has a boyfriend back home. Recieve the obvious answer. Go home wondering whether you should be thrilled that you just saw one of the greatest shows of your life, or horribly disappointed that the most perfect girl on the face of the planet is already taken by some lucky bastard from New Jersey. It should be noted, of course, that the girl of your dreams is never as great as you think she will be, and that it is not likely I will be particularly concerned about the issue beyond maybe tomorrow and the next day. It's not a real heartbreak; it's like when you find out that your favorite band played practically in your back yard two days ago, and you had no idea. | |||
| Dec. 31st, 2005 @ 07:44 pm You know what time it is! | |||
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| That's right... it's time for: TK'S NEW YEAR LIVEJOURNAL BONANZA BLAST ( Prepare ) For last year's TK's New Year Livejournal Bonanza Blast, click here! Happy new year! | |||
| Nov. 17th, 2005 @ 11:18 pm Want to be in my arsenal? | |||
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| I could write endless pages about all the things in my brain at the moment, but I have to go back to writing my philosophy paper shortly. Things like writing philosophy papers make me wonder if I, or even more perhaps, the world at large will ever be free of pointless technicalities and arbitrary guidelines that lock us into the same old patterns. I'd like to see a day when everything can be made art if we so choose, and we encourage every path that leads to the same goal. I'm tired of bending over backwards. What am I not tired of? Can't I just run away to New York and become a street performer? There are certain words I think people need to impose upon themselves limits for. Words such as arbitrary, incredible, liberal, ridiculous, and fuck should be used only about once a month, give or take a week. They're too valuable to abuse the way we do. People are easy to drop everywhere the way we do with words. Let's stop abusing them, too. Build an arsenal of human beings and unleash them when the time is right, never simply for the sake of showing them off; you'll wear out the battery, dry up the pool, burn the star out. Yeah, it's been a while since I've needed a holiday break this badly. I'm so excited for my next term I can hardly stand it, but I think I'd explode if I wasn't going to be done for a little while after I finish writing this paper. Writing a paper. Something about that term in and of itself seems to embody everything I hate about civilization, which is made up of people, who are like words—our whole society is either one big literary work, or one big, ewww, I hate to say this word, paper. It makes me want to vanish into the country to live with the mushrooms and mallards. | |||
| Sep. 14th, 2005 @ 02:04 am | |||
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| For those curious about Advent Children, here are my thoughts on my watching of the non-subtitled Japanese version. There might be spoilers though I honestly can't see why you would give a shit. Cloud apparently can fly now. In fact, all of the fighting in this version of the FF7 universe is done either while flying or riding on a motorcycle. All of the fights were actually quite tedious special effects shows EXCEPT the first real one (i.e. the first one that isn't on fucking motorcycles, something that whoever made this movie was obsessed with), which was Tifa's fight with the short-haired bad guy. It was actually surprisingly cool and well coreographed. Basically, aside from the issue of my hating that they even made this in the first place (an issue which I simply could never have gotten around even if I thought they treated the original source material well), that's the biggest of the many problems here: They should have made all the fights like that one. It was in a small, manageable, enclosed space with enough stuff around to make it interesting. Sure, there was some major exaggeration of what's humanly possible, but it was similar to what you might see with typical wire work, not the "hey wouldn't it be cool if we had them constantly leaping around on rooftops or riding motorcycles while they're fighting" bullshit that infests the later scenarios. Barret looks like a rapper, and he is wearing a white mesh thing under his gray jacket that exposes most of his chest. Not remotely in character. Cid seems to have abandoned his personality even more, having no qualms about jumping off a skyscraper onto the head of a raging, flying Bahamut (I'm assuming it was supposed to be some Bahamut incarnation, but thanks to its raging nature it had none of the majesty that typically characterizes that summon) to stab it in the head through its giant metal headplate. And what was with the... thing Tifa dresses in now? It beats a miniskirt, I guess, but come on, what the hell was that thing? Vincent's cape apparently can fly around and pick stuff up now. Don't ask, I don't know. Yuffie was perfect, though. I mean she actually looked, and acted like Yuffie, not that they really gave her much screen time. I think she was the only character whose portrayal I was 100% happy with, except maybe Red, I guess, but I don't care very much about him. Yuffie was quite adorable. Elena was in one shot. Gay, gay, gay. She was only the best part of the turks. Reno and Rude's "lol we're the comic relief" routine was not effective, and if she'd been there she'd have at least added some much-needed cute to the mix. What the fuck was the kid from Kingdom Hearts doing in this movie? There still aren't any cars on the roads in Midgar. Apparently, the people who designed Midgar built its intricate highway system exclusively so that dudes with long hair could have ridiculous battles while riding motorcycles. No, seriously, in the video game, there was an excuse for this: A PlayStation has limited resources and the developers were under loads of time constraints already. You expect some level of realism to be sacrificed. You don't expect that here. They can make a giant armor-plated Bahamut, they can do virtually flawless water effects, craft human faces so well in some scenes you almost think they're real, and yet they can't just put some fucking cars on the road? The only thing they handled properly aside from that first fight, in my opinion, was the note on which it ends, which I thought was a nice avoidance of a copout. Then again, maybe the whole thing was a copout. So, in summary: Needs more Tifa, needs more Elena, needs less flying and less motorcycles, needs less characters coming back from the dead, needs to not completely ignore the Cloud/Tifa problem, needs to have not been made. Try again, asswipes. You should have just built a gravestone reading "TK's Favorite Video Game" and then taken a dump on it. | |||
| Sep. 12th, 2005 @ 11:20 pm | |||
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| College homework is strange. Maybe it's just the classes I happened to pick, but so far 95% of my homework has been limited exclusively to reading. I guess I'll probably get more writing assignments as time goes on. I am finally getting my second one ever. It's basically another version of high school where I have the ability to choose not to take courses I don't stand, which makes it perfectly tolerable, and anyway it's something to do with myself. I've pretty much quit whatever semblance of a social life I had for the time being. Service trips to Mississipi are, for the time being, cancelled. It's awkward because I feel slightly disappointed, but I shouldn't really since the reason for that is that things are going so well down there, relatively speaking of course. Still, I'd really like the opportunity to go down and help out, but now I don't know if I can wait until a new opportunity comes. I guess it will depend where I'm at at the time. I really do need to find a new job and I've been delaying the process a little bit because of this trip, but I pretty much have to start now. No other choice, really. My schedule keeps feeling awkward because all my stuff is relegated to Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so I wind up finding it difficult to remember to actually do my stuff on Tuesday and Thursday because I've got a miniature version of that weekend syndrome thing going. I am gradually adjusting to it though. I will probably start to feel like I'm really comfortable with it just before the next term starts and it all changes again. I've written a lot of songs lately with a "back to basics" sort of approach. I've been actively songwriting for years and never gotten anything close to comfortable witht he process, really, until now. I think I've finally gotten the hang of the style that really fits what I want to do. In the past, I have never been able to adequately express myself in the type of succinct, to-the-point style that I want so badly to play in, except for a few isolated occurances, and this always lead me to write too or to write too much. There's a fine line between writing something that is just stupid and overly simplistic, and writing something that plays off of a minimalist approach, and I think I'm finally getting the hang of the latter. As such, I might even go about trying to make some really decent recordings of them. But I wouldn't be willing to distribute recordings of this material that were just experimental and/or slap-dash, unlike the stuff I've uploaded to the internet previously, so you won't hear them unless I can pull them off in a way that satisfies me. For leisure, I've recently been playing Ocarina of Time again. I decided to try to get all the gold skulltulas. Hunting the little fuckers down has actually been surprisingly easy up until now; I'm trying to find what I believe to be the last one in the Spirit Temple and there is a locked door leading to the only room I haven't entered and I can't find the blasted key for it. I went way over the time I meant to allot myself for video games today because I was so frustrated with it. I feel like I've scanned every inch of the place. Fuck the Spirit Temple. It can eat poop. Started a new short story. It is going well so far. The characters are really springing to life without me having to do anything. I love it when that happens. I still haven't even made a definitive revision of the last one. I will do that when I need a break from writing this one's rough draft, I guess. | |||
| May. 8th, 2005 @ 03:08 am | |||
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| Thousands of years ago, in the ancient times, before the coming of the Fourth Age, there was a man named Aldesh living amidst the Dragon Spire Mountains. In those days before the Great Schism, the area was prosperous and could be safely traveled. Trade flourished with the elves of the Qael' Ren Forest region to the south, and the twin cities Tromor and Yikkuh to the east. Aldesh, however, chose to live his days in the wilderness, separated from civilization, which he had come to despise over the course of his life. He lived in a cave adjacent to a spring, and survived by hunting pugumas and foraging for katar berries. He was more or less satisfied with his life. Then came the Crimson Tide. Sweeping in from the barren lands to the west, lead by the dread warlord Segoha, wielder of the power of the Crimson Armor of Dego Gan, which no blade could pierce, the Crimson Tide was an army of orcs, goblins, and ogres so called for the bloodstains which covered them. The civilizations of the east, both human and elf, joined forces to face the Crimson Tide, and so began the Great War. Forced to leave his home by the constant battles that raged through the Dragon Spires, Aldesh began to live as a wandering vagabond, surviving as he could. He became increasingly bitter towards all living races. Why, he wondered, must they wage their wars? What was the great flaw in humankind that caused them to insist on destroying each other? Knowing that humanity was utterly hopeless, he sought the greatest teachers of the ancient magicks. Traveling from one teacher to the next over hundreds of years, learning what he could from them and then, when he had become their equal, learned all their spells, and gained knowledge of their weaknesses, he destroyed them. Eventually, the last great wizard fell before Aldesh's fury, and he had become the most powerful man on earth. At about this time, the human alliance finally defeated the Crimson Tide, and, realizing how they had ignored Aldesh's quest for invincibility, they turned to deal with him next. But Aldesh would not negotiate with them, and instead he called forth all his great magical powers and began to ravage the land. The decimated remains of humanity's army came to meet a single man in battle, and for days on end, he held them at bay, until finally one brave hero, Prince Keltar of the great fortress city Tallax, managed to lead Aldesh into the ancient forests of Laealenas, where even the elves dared not tred. In that ancient place, no harmful magic can be cast, no matter how powerful the sorcerer. And so the elves formed a barrier around the forest and it is now guarded day and night by a constant vigil to see that Aldesh never escapes. He still dwells in that enchanted forest, biding his time, until the day arrives when he is given an opportunity to escape and exact his vengence upon the human race. That day is almost at hand, for strange rumors are beginning to circulate amidst the land that Aldesh has been free from Laealenas for some time, and the elves have been covering it up. And so begins... | |||
| Jan. 1st, 2005 @ 01:18 am | |||
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| Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to bring you the first annual... (Because some of us just aren't cool enough to party in real life.) ( Read more... ) | |||